Clearly I will never be an Upholsterer

So remember when I started working on the red chair, which looked a lot better in the original red? I found out that it was professionally reupholstered so it was a big mistake to rip off part of the fabric since now I can never take off the weird stapled/nailed-in silver.

When I last wrote about it, I was stuck at this very awful stage, but I had high(ish?) hopes for getting that last flap of fabric finished. I brainstormed a lot of ideas, but finally landed on upholstery nails as an idea that would probably work best.

So. so. wrong.

The biggest problem I have is that the back of the chair – apart from the frame itself – is just fabric, which means the nails have nothing to stick into. I pushed them all in with just my finger and they can fall out just as easily, which leaves a lot of problems, not the least of which is paranoia about them falling out into the carpet and one of us impaling ourselves. Impale might be a strong word for a 1/2 inch upholstery nail, but have you ever stepped on a tack before? That pain will stay with you.

At this point, I really just wanted to leave the whole chair on the curb and let the trash men haul it away because I clearly had ruined this great piece of furniture whose mangled and slightly shiny ugly twin was now sitting in the corner mocking me. “You suck at this. DIY failure.” It said. I should have kicked it.

It sat there for a few more days before I realized it didn’t look too terrible from the front (the back was really the disaster), so if I could find a good place for it propped against a wall, maybe I could salvage this project yet.

Aww yeah, the guest room saves the day. Doesn’t look half bad over there in the corner. In fact, it looks kind of cute. I was a little afraid that the bronze and silver would clash, but putting that little pillow on the chair seat kind of ties it together.

And look what I got for the other side! Which is finally finished! Except for the lighting, but we don’t talk about that!

Care to sit down in our brand new, really old comfy chair? A $25 Craigslist find (really?) that came from an architecture firm in town that was getting rid of some of its old furniture. This (and another matching chair that I didn’t need so didn’t buy) were the client chairs. It was such a neat office and the architect told me he got his first job in architecture at age 15.

Anyway, I think this silver chair may have been a bigger disaster than even the great green wall of 2011. Mostly because this one actually is going to cost us two new chairs for in front of the fire place. Lonely red chair will just have to be re-homed in another room.